Chipwitch Today!

The Sun

The Sun is in Sagittarius

The Sun is at 26 Sag 02' 60", and is 147211569km away and approaching.

The Moon

The Moon is in Pisces

The Moon is at 06 Pis 10' 14", and is 368811km away and receding.

Moon Is In Pisces

Well, well, well, folks. The moon has decided to take a dip in the celestial pool of Pisces and it's further away than my last Amazon Prime delivery – 368,750.420162793 km if we're getting nerdy about it...and let's be honest, we always are. Now, Pisces is basically the Bob Ross of the zodiac. Peaceful, creative, and always slightly out of this world. With the moon here, expect emotions to flow like a Bob Ross landscape painting. Happy little feelings here, happy little thoughts there. You may find yourself wanting to deep dive into your emotions, like an astronaut exploring the dark side of the moon. Or more accurately, like a Trekkie trying to learn Klingon. Don't be surprised if you're suddenly a little more empathetic than usual, like Spock on one of his good days. Remember, though, that Pisces' energy can be as elusive as that missing sock you swore was in the laundry. One minute you might be crying at a cat food commercial, and the next you're laughing at a dad joke that isn't even funny. And don't worry, you're not going mad, it's just the lunar lander parking up in compassionate Pisces. It's a time for introspection, dreaming, and maybe a spontaneous interpretive dance routine in your living room. Who knows? You might even invent a new dance move called 'the Floating Astronaut'. So, my fellow space cadets, strap in and enjoy the ride. This moon phase might be a bit of a cosmic rollercoaster. But hey, at least it's not Mercury Retrograde, right? Now that's a real black hole for your plans!

Mercury

Mercury is in Capricorn

Mercury is retrograde at 06 Cap 10' 36", moving backwards at 0.93 degrees per day, and is 106571920km away and approaching.

Mercury Is In Capricorn

Hey stargazers, let's take a cosmic spin, shall we? Mercury, the quick-witted cosmic courier and resident smarty pants of the cosmos, has parked itself in the boardroom of Capricorn. Now, if Mercury were a person, it would be that nerdy genius who could solve a Rubik's cube in 10 seconds flat and talk about quantum physics at a cocktail party, wearing Star Trek cufflinks. With Mercury in Capricorn, our thoughts are sharper than a Vulcan's ears, and our focus is as clear as the Hubble Telescope's vision. We’re less likely to chase after that butterfly of a thought fluttering around our minds and more likely to put on our business suits, grab our briefcases, and get down to brass tacks. We're all about goal setting now, folks. It's like suddenly, our minds have turned into a well-oiled machine, spitting out organized ideas faster than a 3D printer on overdrive. We can see our thoughts as little Lego blocks, clicking them together until they create the most impressive structure. Or in simpler terms, we're going to start turning our "Eureka!" moments into "I did it!" accomplishments. But remember, my celestial friends, with great power comes great responsibility. Capricorn has a thing for hierarchies, so while we might be communication wizards during this transit, we also might channel a bit of Darth Vader, trying to force choke everyone with our superior ideas. Remember, nobody likes a know-it-all. We need to use our newfound intellectual superpowers wisely, or else instead of being the Yoda of the group, we’ll end up more like Jar Jar Binks. So, folks, sharpen your pencils, clear your desks, and get ready for some serious productivity. With Mercury in Capricorn, it's time to turn those dreams into reality. And remember, as Spock would say, "Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end." Peace out, stargazers!

Venus

Venus is in Scorpio

Venus is prograde at 16 Sco 01' 01", moving at 1.2 degrees per day, and is 163511512km away and receding.

Venus Is In Scorpio

Venus in Scorpio: A Galactic Love Affair

Alright, stargazers, strap into your Millennium Falcon because Venus just entered Scorpio, and we're about to make the Kessel Run through the cosmic realm of love and passion faster than you can say "Chewbacca!"

Venus, the intergalactic social butterfly, is all about connections and cozy cuddles. Scorpio, on the other hand, is essentially the Darth Vader of the zodiac - mysterious, intense, and has a thing for dramatic entrances. When these two join forces, we're not talking about mere Ewok picnics, folks. No, we're diving headfirst into the Sarlacc Pit of love. Prepare for meaningful, intense experiences, and the kind of romance that could make even Han Solo blush.

With Venus in Scorpio, it's like turning on the Death Star's tractor beam on our relationship issues. Those pesky doubts you've been Force-pushing away? They're now as visible as a Tauntaun in Hoth's snow. It's time to don your Jedi robes and uncover the truth. You might find yourself pondering how to fix things, or perhaps considering if it's time to say "I love you. I know." and let go. This galactic transit is giving our love lives a reality check sterner than a Wookiee's right hook!

And let's not forget about the power struggles and credit concerns that could surface like an Imperial Star Destroyer from hyperspace. Spending habits might become a hot topic faster than a podracer on Tatooine. This could also be a time when you feel like a young Lando, ready to gamble and make bold financial decisions. Just remember, no disintegrations!

Yes, Venus in Scorpio can be heavier than a Hutt but also truly astonishing. Amidst the intensity, you might just forge a bond stronger than a Mandalorian's armor. So if you're ready for this emotional and physical challenge, prepare for a transformative and steamy journey that could bring you and your partner closer than Luke and Leia... before they knew they were siblings, of course.

Mars

Mars is in Sagittarius

Mars is prograde at 17 Sag 11' 45", moving at 0.73 degrees per day, and is 368459926km away and approaching.

Mars Is In Sagittarius

Mars in Sagittarius: A Galactic Road Trip of Epic Proportions

Alright, buckle up space cadets! Our favorite red planet buddy, Mars, is parked in Sagittarius and this means one thing: It's adventure time! Sagittarius, the cosmic archer, is known for being as optimistic as a puppy with two tails, and doesn't see boundaries the same way my aunt Doris can't see the appeal of kale smoothies. With Mars blazing through this sign like a comet with a coffee addiction, we're all getting a dose of that Sagittarius 'sky's-the-limit' vibe. Suddenly, life is like an LED light show and we're all seeing possibilities where there used to be just, well, regular old light.

Mars in Sagittarius isn’t just about having visions (though I promise, no hallucinogens needed). It's about finding the drive to turn those dreams into something real, like finally taking that pottery class or training your cat to fetch your slippers. We might feel a little less focused on the present moment, like a time traveler with a dodgy wristwatch, because we're so tuned into what comes next.

However, let’s not forget the flip side. There's a danger of going overboard while Mars is in Sagittarius, like a pirate who can't remember the word 'moderation'. We're impulsive, more likely to take risks, and may end up taking things too far. Yes, it might seem like a good idea at the time to start learning the bagpipes at 3am, but trust me, your neighbors won’t appreciate your newfound enthusiasm.

During this period, Mars in Sagittarius wants us to absorb everything like a sponge in a knowledge pool. People, places, feelings, knowledge, beliefs... you name it, we're open to it. It’s a cosmic call to keep an open mind, because the answers we need could be hiding in the most unexpected places, like wisdom in a fortune cookie or spare change in the couch cushions.

And if you’ve been bitten by the travel bug, there’s no better time to hit the road than during Mars in Sagittarius! But we're not talking about sipping margaritas on a sandy beach, this is about seeking something beyond the horizon, something that will expand our minds and hearts like a cosmic yoga class. However, exploration doesn’t always

Jupiter

Jupiter is in Taurus

Jupiter is retrograde at 05 Tau 51' 59", moving backwards at 0.04 degrees per day, and is 642489812km away and receding.

Jupiter Is In Taurus

Hold Onto Your Horoscopes! Jupiter's in Taurus!

Alright, folks, gather 'round because the science nerd in me is doing a happy dance in his Birkenstocks. Jupiter, our cosmic overachiever and planet of wisdom, has decided to bunk up with Taurus, the zodiac's most stubborn...err, I mean steadfast sign. It's like having a philosopher move in with a bull. Imagine the dinner conversations.

This celestial sleepover is basically the universe's way of telling us to get our heads out of the clouds and put our feet on the ground. You see, Jupiter encourages deep thinking while Taurus prefers Netflix and chill. The result? A reminder that wisdom isn't always found in a dusty old tome—it might be hiding under that pile of laundry you've been ignoring.

Jupiter in Taurus is also a golden opportunity for making real progress towards your goals. Think of it as your celestial kick in the pants. You'll be motivated to make to-do lists that actually get done (shocking, I know), instead of being lost in the abyss of your bag or under the couch cushion.

Let's not forget about the money honey! Jupiter is like that rich uncle everyone wishes they had, and Taurus is all about that cheddar. So, this could be a prosperous time for you. Just don't go buying a yacht because you found a penny on the street, okay?

However, do bear in mind, Taurus has a bit of a reputation for being a hedonist. Can't blame them, life's pleasures are too good to resist. But when paired with Jupiter, the planet of expansion, there's a risk of overindulgence. We're talking "eating an entire cake in one sitting" level of excess here. So, remember to show a little restraint. You don't want to wake up from this transit with nothing but wrappers and regrets.

So there you have it. Jupiter's in Taurus, and we're all in for a cosmic rollercoaster. Buckle up, buttercups, it's going to be a fun ride!

Saturn

Saturn is in Pisces

Saturn is prograde at 02 Pis 08' 32", moving at 0.07 degrees per day, and is 1510754862km away and receding.

Saturn Is In Pisces

Smegging Saturn in Pisces, innit?

Now, listen up, me lovelies. Saturn's taken a vacay to Pisces and it's about as subtle as Lister's curry farts. One moment you're daydreaming about penning the next 'War and Peace' or opening up your own chippy, and the next, you're getting an interstellar kick up the backside to actually do something about it. So, take a deep breath, grab a notepad and brace yourself for some cosmic life coaching that could even put Cat's fashion sense to shame. With Saturn, the headmaster of the cosmos, bunking with Pisces, the zodiac's resident dreamer, they're conspiring to turn your pipedreams into reality. But, crikey, they are expecting you to do some homework: business plans, budgets, loan options...the works! But trust me, their celestial wisdom could be just the ticket to clear your path.

Of course, having Saturn in Pisces can be as enjoyable as Rimmer's Risk evenings. Who wants their deepest dreams scrutinised? It's like having your dad barge into your room while you're skiving off school. No amount of "Keep Out" signs will deter this planetary old man from tidying up your mess. So, you might as well embrace it, let him in, and grudgingly acknowledge that his advice is spot on.

With all this brain-bending activity happening in Pisces territory – the realm of sleep and dreams – you may feel as restless as Kryten without his groinal attachment. But don't panic! Now's the time to channel your inner hippie: meditate, commune with nature, practise deep breathing, take a nap (and keep a dream journal handy!), and make sure you get a good night's kip. You might even want to hit the hay a bit early to give your brain a break. Trust me, you'll need all the rest you can get to soak up the deep, interstellar wisdom during this transit.

So, in short, Saturn in Pisces is a bit like a cosmic spring clean. It might be a pain in the smeg, but once it's over, everything will be shipshape and Bristol fashion. And who knows? You might just end up with a bestseller or a profitable business out of it. Smegging marvellous

Uranus

Uranus is in Taurus

Uranus is retrograde at 19 Tau 44' 59", moving backwards at 0.03 degrees per day, and is 2814538790km away and receding.

Uranus Is In Taurus

Uranus In Taurus: The Cosmic Bull in the Financial China Shop

Alright, stargazers, strap on your cosmic seatbelts because Uranus—the zodiac's resident rebel without a cause—is shaking things up in the stable, comfort-loving sign of Taurus. It's like inviting a hyperactive toddler to a meditation retreat. It's...well, it's a bit chaotic to say the least.

Now, Taurus is as steady as a rock (or a stubborn bull, if you prefer). This sign loves routine, stability, and the good old days. But Uranus, the galactic equivalent of a punk rocker with a megaphone, is all about embracing the new and the unexpected. This is like trying to convince your grandpa to trade his beloved flip phone for the latest smartphone. The struggle is real, my friends.

What's more? Money matters fall under Taurus' jurisdiction. So, while Uranus is frolicking in this sign, we might see some serious revolutions in finance. Imagine the world of banking being disrupted by the introduction of alien currency (Hello? Galactic credits, anyone?). Or maybe your house suddenly decides to secede from the neighborhood and declare itself an independent nation (free cookies on Tuesdays!). Stock markets may fluctuate like an overcaffeinated squirrel.

On a personal level, expect Uranus in Taurus to give you a cosmic nudge (or shove) to rethink your relationship with money and material possessions. Are you drowning in debt? Strangled by taxes? Feeling trapped by that mountain of Beanie Babies you just can’t seem to part with? Uranus is here to say, "Enough is enough!"

Resisting these changes is like trying to tell a hurricane to calm down. It won't work and you'll just end up with a face full of rain. Embrace the chaos, and you might just find yourself in a better place. Remember, even if Uranus is the zodiac's wild child, it still has our best interests at heart. So let go, jump in, and remember to keep your sense of humor handy. You're going to need it!

Neptune

Neptune is in Pisces

Neptune is prograde at 24 Pis 55' 43", moving at 0.01 degrees per day, and is 4474062762km away and receding.

Neptune Is In Pisces

Neptune in Pisces: A Cosmic Comedy

Alright, star gazers, grab your telescopes, because today we're making a cosmic long-distance call to our favorite blue giant, Neptune, which is currently parked in Pisces. Now, I know what you’re thinking, "That's about 4.4 billion kilometers away!" Yep, that's right! But hey, who’s counting, right? Oh, wait...scientists are!

Now, let's talk about this celestial mashup. When Neptune, the planet of dreams and intuition, decides to take a vacation in Pisces, the sign of emotions and spiritual pursuits, things can get a little bit...well, let's call it woo-woo. Picture a hippie at a Star Trek convention. That's us right now!

This spiritual sci-fi blend shakes up our inner universe, giving us an enhanced ability to see past the mundane. Suddenly, arguing about who left the cap off the toothpaste seems as pointless as socks on a rooster. Unity becomes the star of the show, shining brighter than a supernova. Our path towards wholeness gets lit up like bioluminescent plankton - it's a pretty spectacular sight if I do say so myself.

During this interstellar transit, we're encouraged to dig deep into our emotional pockets and pull out our unique gifts. Maybe you have the incredible ability to speak Klingon or perhaps you can balance a spoon on your nose. Whatever your talent, it's time to share it for the collective good.

So, dust off your Ouija board, enroll in that online course on astral projection, or construct a sacred space in your home where you can connect with the cosmos. The energy of Neptune in Pisces nudges us to explore the final frontier of our spiritual selves and boldly go where no one has gone before. And remember, folks, the cosmic force is with us in this journey - a bit like having your own personal Yoda. So, what are you waiting for? May the force be with you!

Pluto

Pluto is in Capricorn

Pluto is prograde at 28 Cap 56' 56", moving at 0.03 degrees per day, and is 5345825655km away and receding.

Pluto Is In Capricorn

Pluto in Capricorn: A Cosmic Comedy

Alright folks, grab your telescopes and dust off that high school astronomy textbook because guess what? Pluto is in Capricorn! Yes, that's right! Our favorite celestial underdog, the little planet-that-could (and then couldn't, and then could again – talk about an identity crisis), is currently snuggled up in the sign of the ambitious mountain goat. Now, you might be thinking, "What on earth does this mean for me?" Well, buckle up, my star-gazing friends because things are about to get interesting!

First off, let’s address the 5,345,792,296.023832321km elephant in the solar system. Pluto, our lovable dwarf planet, and Capricorn, the no-nonsense, goal-oriented workaholic of the zodiac, have teamed up for a cosmic power couple extravaganza. It's like Batman and Robin, but with more ice and less spandex.

Here's the scoop: Capricorn's unwavering focus and Pluto's transformative energy are joining forces, making this the perfect time for some serious spring cleaning... in autumn. Or winter. Or whatever season it is when you read this. Time is relative, right? The point is, it's out with the old, in with the new. It's time to ditch those worn-out patterns not serving you anymore. Just think of it as recycling your spiritual rubbish.

However, a word of caution. While you're busy bulldozing through your metaphorical life clutter, don't become a tyrant. It's easy to forget that other people's opinions matter too when you're in the throes of cosmic-induced self-improvement. So, remember to play nice and share the cosmic sandbox with others.

So, happy Pluto-in-Capricorn season! Here's to embracing change, climbing those metaphorical mountains, and most importantly, remembering that in the grand cosmic scheme of things, we're all just tiny specks on a blue dot navigating this crazy universe together. Peace out, stargazers!

The Sun

Sun Square Neptune

Confusion, uncertainty, and delusions of grandeur characterize this transit. Be alert for deception. Avoid becoming the martyr today just because your self-confidence may be low. Don't buy into every sob story that comes your way and don't play the "poor, poor pitiful me" game. Be careful with contracts. In general, be prepared for any kind of possible misunderstanding.Those people born under a challenging aspect between the Sun and Neptune often struggle with a desire to be something special or to experience something more than the ordinary. They are day-dreamers and idealists. It is easy for these people to trust others, even (and perhaps especially) people who might seem from the outside looking in as unsavory types. They are looking to identify with something beyond what is normally expected of people.Most have in common a childhood that didn’t help the natives direct or define their lives. Perhaps the early family life was lacking in supervision or clearly defined rules. A father figure may have been absent or distant and ineffective. Many people with these aspects have a glorified image of their fathers. Whether the image is very positive or very negative (or if it swings between these extremes), the image is not very clear or rational. Whatever the case may be, these people struggle with defining who they are. They might gravitate towards the “wrong people”, or get in with the “wrong crowd” in an attempt to define who they are. They might be susceptible to being taken advantage of by others, especially by men or authority figures. They can be easily led astray by peculiar desires or self-destructive habits. In order to add a greater-than-ordinary dimension of experience to their lives that helps them to feel special and important, they might be attracted to Neptune-ruled behaviors, such as secret affairs, drugs, or other escapist behaviors. In some way, these people feel a strong urge to glamorize their role in the world. In extreme cases, the natives are completely deluded. However, in most cases, there is simply some confusion about the past (such as remembering childhood experiences in ways that are far removed from reality), and a tendency to daydream about being someone more “important” than they assume they are. They may struggle with early conditioning that made them feel tossed aside or neglected in some way, and certainly not directed and supported.These people are very sensitive, especially with regards to any real or imagined blows to their ego. If the natal chart shows a strong sense of reality and a robust mind (Mercury and Saturn well-placed, for example), the negative interpretations of this aspect are less extreme. Still, the natives are likely to recognize at some point in their lives that they have a tendency to engage in escapist and self-destructive fantasies and/or habits. It is useful to be able to connect these behaviors with their probable source, which is likely to be a weakly-defined ego and identity in childhood.Some Famous People with Sun in Hard Aspect to Neptune: Squares – Anjelica Huston, Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Costner, Cameron Diaz; Oppositions – Sheena Easton.

Mercury

Mercury Trine Jupiter

Your mental judgment is excellent today. Plans you make are well thought out, broad, and focused on seeing both the details and the larger picture. Travel, both mental and physical should be rewarding today. Take care of all legal issues and contracts as the force is with you today. Make long range plans now.Your ideas are big and your intentions noble. You are excellent at seeing the big picture, drawing conclusions, problem solving, and making accurate observations. You love to learn, and spend your life actively absorbing information. Many of you make good teachers with your sincere love of learning and sharing ideas with others. You are also very positive in your communications, readily inspiring others with what you say and how you say it. You are skilled at turning information into an advantage, and in some ways seem to be quite lucky. You are tolerant of other perspectives and ideas, and naturally avoid narrow-minded thinking–in fact you have a huge distaste for it. You are generally at ease conversing with people from all walks of life. You might be especially attracted to learning other languages and learning about foreign cultures. Travel is something that you are strongly attracted to.You are very tolerant, generous and optimistic. You always see the positive side of situations and you are very respectful of the traditions and opinions of others. You have a lot of ability for organizing and planning enterprises. You enjoy traveling and any other activity that helps expand your mind. You possess an ease of communication and the facility of learning other languages. — from the Adult report.The trine aspect is the more dynamic of the two harmonious aspects. Those with the sextile can call upon these traits when needed, and those with the trine between the Mercury and Jupiter have incorporated the traits of the aspect into their personalities, expressing them naturally and consistently.Some Famous People with Mercury in Harmonious Aspect to Jupiter: Trines – Jennifer Aniston, Lucie Arnaz, Tom Berger, Wade Boggs, Tony Curtis, Kirk Douglas, Lou Ferrigno, Sean Flannery, Marilyn Manson, Groucho Marx, Jim Morrison, Jack Nicholson, Diana Ross, Yves Saint-Laurent, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Oprah Winfrey.

Venus

Venus Opposite Uranus

Unstable romantic infatuations and impractical or irresponsible attitudes and conduct in relationships should be guarded against. There is a desire to break free from binding partnerships. Impulsive spending may be your idea of breaking free. Be careful during this transit because you are probably not thinking with your head, only your heart, which is your wild side right now. Your behavior now may be so bohemian or bizarre that people turn against you. Settle down and apply self-discipline.The need for stimulation and the need to break the rules with regards to love and romance is apparent when Venus squares or opposes Uranus in the natal chart. These people can confuse their partners readily with their on-again off-again energy when it comes to matters of the heart. With the opposition, this is especially pronounced–when they are given too much space, they feel unloved, yet when they get the love they seem to crave, they can feel smothered by it. They can alienate partners by adopting an “I don’t care what you do” stance when they feel threatened. The truth is, they do fear rejection like anyone else, but they don’t always want to admit it, and they can turn quite cold when they suspect their partner doesn’t care. The energy of Venus-Uranus in hard aspect is embodied in the expression, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”. When close to a loved one, they can eventually feel smothered or antsy if the relationship becomes too predictable. They can also detach themselves from living in the moment and enjoying the love they have. When apart, they feel more free to love. This aspect is common in the charts of people who maintain long-distance or otherwise erratic relationships. There can be abrupt beginnings and endings in relationships. They are not very “good” at endings–they can appear quite insensitive, aloof, and brusque. The “let’s be friends” attitude might hurt a partner who felt there was much more to the relationship. These people have a disdain for conventional, traditional, or otherwise “normal” relationships. They need to learn to balance their need for closeness and their need for freedom. They truly detest social pretenses, and insist on being sincere. Being well-liked takes second place to sincerity. There is a strong attraction to all that is different, and all that “shouldn’t” be done in love and in sex. Taste in clothing and art is unusual, original, and unique.There is a tendency to react spontaneously and intensely to others, and there is marked emotional impulsiveness with these aspects. Their most successful relationships are unconventional ones. Whether they do so publicly or privately, they delight in defying convention. They tend to move on and outgrow friendships. Some possess considerable romantic charm and humor, and they can pretty much charm the birds out of the trees when they choose to do so! Their love feelings are easily aroused and their romantic relationships begin with suddenness. There is a marked inner craving for emotional excitement and a need to feel spontaneous and free.Alternate interpretations:Venus square Uranus or Venus opposition Uranus: *Your love feelings are easily aroused and your romantic relationships begin with a sudden electric attraction, but they often end abruptly, and you may be in and out of love frequently – especially in your younger years. You crave emotional excitement and need to feel spontaneous and free, so you may avoid making firm personal commitments. Unusual or nontraditional forms of love and relationships appeal to you, and you are attracted to unique, creative, or unstable people.#You tend to fall in love instantly, and you need to discriminate between passing sexual fancy and something that can last “forever.” As your intuition develops, you will be able to identify the difference more clearly. When you “fall,” that is a good time to marshal all your respect for yourself and your partner, and to take things one day at a time until you have forged a deep connection. From Your Spiritual Path report.Some Famous People with the Venus in Hard Aspect to Uranus: Squares – Angelina Jolie, Diana Princess of Wales, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Corbin Bernsen, Naomi Campbell, Chevy Chase, Alice Cooper, Juliette Lewis, Anais Nin, Jean Piaget, Elvis Presley, Valerie Harper, Kirk Douglas, Johnny Depp, Barbara De Angelis, Kim Hunter, Tony Curtis, Carson Daly; Oppositions – Getrude Stein, Dionne Warwick, Sharon Stone, Carl Sandburg, Bonnie Raitt, Robert Pattinson, Deborah Kerr, Jack London, Jesse Jackson, Sean Connery, Ian Fleming, Ellen DeGeneres.