Chipwitch Today!

The Sun

The Sun is in Virgo

The Sun is at 18 Vir 16' 27", and is 150629030km away and approaching.

The Moon

The Moon is in Leo

The Moon is at 06 Leo 48' 23", and is 405439km away and receding.

Moon Is In Leo

Greetings, my celestial cadets! The Moon - that big, round cheese in the sky - has decided to do a little cosmic cha-cha into the fiery realm of Leo. And it's not just any moon we're talking about here, no siree! We're talking about the one and only, weighing approximately 81 quintillion kilograms, 405370.793912407km away from your coffee mug (give or take a few kilometers depending on your coffee drinking habits), lunar superstar - our Moon! Now, when Mrs. Moon waltzes into the sign of Leo, she's not just going for a stroll. She's ready to party! She's donned her best sequin dress, fluffed up her hair, and is belting out show tunes like there's no tomorrow! What does this mean for you? Well, my dear stargazers, brace yourselves, because you're about to feel the gravitational pull of all that lunar enthusiasm. That's right, you're about to become the life of your own personal party! You're going to be brimming with confidence, creativity, and a flair for the dramatic. It's like being given a backstage pass to your own Broadway show! But remember, even in the glitz and glamour of Leo's limelight, it's important not to let your ego inflate like a helium balloon. Nobody likes a show-off, especially one that's blocking their view of the interstellar spectacle. So, go out there and strut your stuff, but remember to stay humble and kind. After all, everyone's a star in the grand cosmic theatre, and there's plenty of room for all of us to shine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with my telescope to keep. The cosmos, like a good joke, waits for no one!

Mercury

Mercury is in Virgo

Mercury is retrograde at 09 Vir 33' 18", moving backwards at 0.64 degrees per day, and is 102219058km away and receding.

Mercury Is In Virgo

Ahoy, celestial sailors! I interrupt your regularly scheduled life for an important cosmic bulletin: Mercury, that speedy little planet with a penchant for communication and a serious case of wanderlust, has made its way into Virgo. It's like Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory decided to vacation in the land of Hermione Granger. Analytical skills? Check! Precision? Double-check! Now, while you may be thinking, "Hold up, isn't Mercury retrograde?", you'd be absolutely right! In our astrological soap opera, Mercury Retrograde usually plays the character who walks backward into rooms and rearranges the furniture just for fun. But, fear not, Mercury in Virgo is less about causing chaos, and more about organizing your sock drawer by color, fabric, and day of the week. During this transit, our minds become sharper than a tack on a quantum physicist's corkboard. We communicate with the precision of an AI, but without the creepy robotic voice. Sugar-coating words? Not our style right now. We're all about slicing through the cosmic clutter to get straight to the point. And productivity? Oh, boy, you're going to be ticking off your to-do list like a pro! Sure, it might not be as exciting as discovering alien life or inventing teleportation, but the satisfaction of getting stuff done will be totally worth it. Just remember, while Mercury's in Virgo, we might be tempted to channel our inner Simon Cowell. Being discerning is one thing, but don't let your analytical superpowers turn you into a hyper-critical Hulk. Let's refine our speech, sprinkle in some tact, and remember to appreciate the beauty in imperfections, okay? So there you go, folks. Grab your calculators and fine-tune your thinking caps, because Mercury in Virgo is about to make things interesting. Stay groovy, and may your horoscope be as bright as a supernova!

Venus

Venus is in Leo

Venus is prograde at 13 Leo 10' 46", moving at 0.26 degrees per day, and is 58258787km away and receding.

Venus Is In Leo

Space Jam: Venus in Leo

Rocket scientists and love gurus, buckle up! Our cosmic disco ball, Venus, has swirled into the stellar dance floor of Leo. Now, we all know Leo is the drama queen, uh, I mean, king of the Zodiac. It's like if a Broadway show and a rock concert made a baby and named it after the most charismatic lion in the savannah. Yes, it’s THAT expressive, folks.

Venus in Leo is like setting your dating app to ‘bold and flashy.’ It’s not about simply being liked or appreciated, oh no. We demand to be worshipped, darling, like the celestial deities we are. This is a time where you may find yourself skywriting love messages or perhaps hiring a mariachi band to serenade your significant other during their lunch break. And hey, if you get left on the bench because you played it safe, remember it's only temporary. Venus will move on, and so will you.

Now, let's talk about drama. Leo’s got it in spades. If you're feeling neglected, you might find yourself starting an argument about who ate the last slice of pizza just to feel seen again. But remember, folks, there is no "i" in "we", but there is a "me", so maybe let's not totally forget about our needs, eh?

Speaking of needs, let’s talk moolah. When Venus struts into Leo, it’s all about making it rain for yourself and those you adore. Feel like buying that gold-plated coffee machine? Go ahead. Want to surprise your friend with a life-size sculpture of them made from vegan cheese? Why not! Just remember, splurging is fun, but generosity is where the real joy is at. The more you give, the happier you'll be.

So, my celestial comrades, as Venus sashays through Leo, let the cosmic energy rekindle your relationships and remind you that life without a bit of jazz hands and disco balls is like a galaxy without stars. Dull and dark. So go on – love loudly, spend wildly and live colorfully!

Mars

Mars is in Libra

Mars is prograde at 09 Lib 29' 59", moving at 0.65 degrees per day, and is 375765032km away and receding.

Mars Is In Libra

When Mars Wades Into Libra's Pool Party

Okay, folks, buckle up because Mars, our celestial red rover, has just crash-landed into Libra's cocktail party. You know Mars, right? The energetic, go-getter of the solar system with an enthusiasm that makes a caffeinated squirrel seem lethargic. And Libra, the chillaxed diplomat who'd rather negotiate peace treaties than break a nail in a fight.

So what happens when our cosmic bulldozer decides to dance around in Libra's zen garden? Harmony, my friends, harmony. Imagine a Metallica concert suddenly turning into a Kenny G performance - that's the vibe we're aiming for here.

We're bound to become more aware of our relationships, like a Romulan at a Starfleet convention. We're less likely to engage in squabbles or act rashly, and more inclined to become peacemakers. Think less 'Thor smashing things with Mjölnir' and more 'Gandalf sipping tea and chatting about hobbits'.

However, don't be fooled by this smooth jazz energy. It's easy to slap on a 'Everything is Awesome' sticker and ignore the Death Star-sized issues lurking under the surface. Burying our feelings faster than a mole on speed won't help anybody. Instead, seize this opportunity to discuss difficult topics with the grace and love of Princess Leia addressing the Rebel Alliance.

And remember, Libra isn't just about being the universe's favorite lounge singer. It's also about justice - not the Batman kind, but the 'fighting for equality' kind. So, channel your inner superhero during this period and stand up for what's right.

Warning: this celestial tango might also induce bouts of indecisiveness or procrastination. It's like Mars wants to dive headfirst into a mosh pit, while Libra prefers to sip a martini by the pool. But hey, as long as we're acting with love, intention, and fairness, we're doing the Cha-Cha Slide in the right direction under Mars in Libra.

So go forth, fellow star gazers, and remember - in the grand cosmic scheme of things, we're all just trying to find our place in this universe-sized jigsaw puzzle.

Jupiter

Jupiter is in Taurus

Jupiter is retrograde at 15 Tau 30' 26", moving backwards at 0.02 degrees per day, and is 650620758km away and approaching.

Jupiter Is In Taurus

Jupiter in Taurus - The Cosmic Comedy of Wealth and Indulgence

Alright, my celestial amigos, have I got some cosmic news for you! Jupiter, our big brotherly planet of wisdom, has decided to bunk with Taurus, the zodiac’s most "chillaxed" sign. Imagine a wise old man deciding to live with a young, carefree hippie. Sounds fun, right? Well, that's exactly what's happening in our sky!

What does this mean for us? It’s like we’ve been given a golden ticket to the wisdom factory - it's time to tap into that deep well of knowledge we’ve conveniently 'misplaced' in the rush of our daily life. Spirituality isn't just for gurus on mountain tops, it's within us all. We just need to remember to listen.

Now, Jupiter in Taurus also means it's time to get serious about those dreams you've been cooking up. You know, the ones you wrote down on a napkin while having your fourth cup of coffee? Yeah, those! This cosmic alliance is here to give you a nudge in the right direction. Remember, slow and steady wins the race, and Taurus is nothing if not patient. Your to-do list might seem daunting, but trust me, checking off those tasks will be as satisfying as getting the last piece of chocolate in the box.

And hey, who doesn’t like a good prosperity party? With Jupiter being the planet of good fortune and Taurus being the zodiac equivalent of a money tree, there's a chance you might stumble upon some extra dough. So, keep an eye out for those opportunities to grow your wealth (and no, I don't mean buying lottery tickets).

But let’s not forget, Taurus has a knack for indulgence. It’s like a kid in a candy store, and with Jupiter’s expansion energy, that candy store just got bigger. So, try to avoid mistaking your wants as needs during this transit. I know, it's hard when everything looks so tasty! But remember, indulgence is fun until you realize you've eaten all your candy now and there's none left for later.

In short, dear star gazers, Jupiter in Taurus is telling us to trust the wisdom within, take practical steps towards our goals, enjoy the prosperity, but also, control our appetites. And most

Saturn

Saturn is in Pisces

Saturn is retrograde at 02 Pis 43' 37", moving backwards at 0.07 degrees per day, and is 1315811216km away and receding.

Saturn Is In Pisces

Beam Me Up, Saturn

Okay, folks, gather 'round. Saturn is currently shacking up in Pisces, a whopping 1,315,788,366.938474417km away, give or take a few nanometers. And it's gone retrograde too, so it's doing the cosmic equivalent of moonwalking across the sky. So, what does this mean for you? Buckle up, buttercups!

When the headmaster of celestial bodies bunkers down in the dreamy realm of Pisces, it's like your guardian angel finally gets a reliable WiFi connection. It's time to clear the cobwebs in your brain, take a deep breath, and download some serious life coaching. Got that wild dream of launching a start-up or penning the next Harry Potter series? Good news! This transit is like a cosmic incubator for your wildest dreams. But remember, Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was Hogwarts. So, get your ducks in a row: budget plans, loan options, business proposals. You wouldn't run a marathon without training, right?

But I won't sugarcoat it; Saturn in Pisces is not all rainbows and unicorns. It's like having a stern but loving father figure who insists on organizing your messy room while asking about your life goals at 6 am. And while you might want to stick a "No Aliens Allowed" sign on your door, trust me, you'll want to hear what Cosmic Dad has to say. His advice might just be the secret sauce to your success.

Now, if you're feeling restless, anxious, or losing sleep, don't panic. That's just the Piscean vibes messing with your circadian rhythm. Use this opportunity to become a Zen master: meditate, connect with nature, practice deep breathing, or just take a siesta. Just remember to keep a dream journal handy because you never know when inspiration might strike. And don't forget to get a full night's snooze; even the universe needs to recharge.

So take a deep breath, step back, and let Saturn in Pisces guide you. This cosmic journey might be the best thing since sliced bread...or at least since the last Star Wars movie!

Uranus

Uranus is in Taurus

Uranus is retrograde at 23 Tau 00' 12", moving backwards at 0.01 degrees per day, and is 2869292138km away and approaching.

Uranus Is In Taurus

Ahoy, space cadets! Buckle up and put on your retrograde-resistant helmets because Uranus is currently doing the cosmic cha-cha in Taurus. That's right, our big, blue, ice-giant neighbor has decided to park in the sign of the Bull for a seven-year planetary sleepover. And boy, is it going to be a wild ride! Now, Taurus is as stubborn as a mule who's just discovered Bitcoin. It likes stability, predictability, and most importantly, its cash in the bank. But Uranus, that cheeky celestial rebel, is all about shaking things up. It's like RoboCop at a '70s disco – awkward and totally out of place, but somehow making it work. Think of it this way: Taurus is a comfy old couch, and Uranus is a hyperactive cat with a fresh dose of catnip. The couch (Taurus) just wants to stay still and enjoy its usual spot. But the cat (Uranus) is bouncing off the walls, scratching the upholstery, and causing all sorts of chaos. In the end, the couch may need to change spots or even get a nice new cover, but hey, it's still a comfy place to sit, right? So what does this mean for you, dear star gazers? Well, for starters, expect some very "Star Trek" ways of dealing with your finances. Maybe we'll start trading in alien crystals or intergalactic credits. Who knows, banks might even become as outdated as floppy disks. The housing and stock markets could see more flips than an Olympic gymnastics competition. But don't panic! Remember Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? This is just the Universe's funky way of encouraging us to reevaluate our relationship with money and material possessions. Debt, taxes, credit card interest, rent, mortgages - these are not the droids you're looking for. Uranus is here to say, "Be free, my earthling friends! Resistance is futile!" So, gear up for a journey of financial liberation. It might be a bumpy ride, but hey, that's what makes space travel fun, right? Just remember, the changes we make during this period can lead to greater stability, like finding a perfectly balanced equation or discovering a new favorite episode of Doctor Who. And that, my friends, can be as long-lasting as the Starship Enterprise's voyage through the cosmos.

Neptune

Neptune is in Pisces

Neptune is retrograde at 26 Pis 29' 52", moving backwards at 0.03 degrees per day, and is 4324854673km away and approaching.

Neptune Is In Pisces

Well, beam me up, Scotty! Looks like we're taking a detour to the mystical waters of Pisces, with Neptune as our cosmic GPS. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Neptune? Isn't that a gas giant way out there in the frosty expanse of space?" And you'd be right! But here's the kicker - it's not just a hunk of icy gas, it's a celestial body that holds sway over our emotional tides and spiritual inclinations. So buckle up, stargazers, because Neptune, aka the 'Big Blue', is currently doing the backstroke in Pisces. That's like Spock getting in touch with his human side or Data developing a sense of humor - it's a big deal, folks! This cosmic combo is like a Vulcan mind-meld between emotion and spirit, fusing together to create a level of clarity that would make even Captain Picard take off his reading glasses. Suddenly, all those petty squabbles about who gets the last slice of pizza or who used up all the hot water seem as insignificant as a Ferengi without his latinum. The warp core of this astrological event is about unity and finding the 'Prime Directive' within ourselves. What's your mission statement, earthling? What unique skills do you have tucked away in your utility belt that could help heal and progress our collective consciousness? Perhaps it's time to boldly go where you haven't gone before. Maybe enroll in that spiritual yoga class you keep putting off or build that meditation corner in your home faster than a team of hyperactive Tribbles. This is the time to tap into your emotional intelligence and find your unique offering to the world. And remember, just like the comforting hum of the Enterprise's engines, the energy of Neptune in Pisces is there to support you through this journey. So, set your phasers to 'stun' and let's explore the final frontier of our inner galaxies together!

Pluto

Pluto is in Capricorn

Pluto is retrograde at 28 Cap 05' 43", moving backwards at 0.01 degrees per day, and is 5115477673km away and receding.

Pluto Is In Capricorn

Pluto in Capricorn: An Astrological Comedy of Science and Success

Well, buckle up, stargazers! The distant dwarf planet Pluto has made its cosmic pit stop in Capricorn - a sign known for its grit, determination, and an odd fascination with spreadsheets. This celestial combo is like a power lunch between Bill Gates and The Rock, so if you've been daydreaming about world domination or simply getting that stubborn succulent on your window sill to bloom, now's the time to act!

But wait! There's a plot twist: Pluto is retrograde, spinning backwards like a clumsy ballerina on roller skates. Now, before you start panicking about your Wi-Fi going haywire, let me remind you that this isn't Mercury we're talking about. Pluto's retrograde isn't interested in messing with your technology, it's more focused on internal transformation. Or as I like to call it, cosmic spring cleaning!

During this transit, our inner empathy compass could go a bit wonky, making us as tolerant to differing opinions as a cat is to a cold bath. It’s not that we mean to be intolerant, it’s just that Pluto and Capricorn’s joint motto happens to be "My way or the highway." So if you find yourself channeling your inner Simon Cowell, remember, it's okay to disagree without being disagreeable.

Pluto wants us to dig deep into our emotional dumpsters and toss out any negative patterns that have overstayed their welcome. Destruction is inevitable but fear not my friends, because just like how a supernova leads to the birth of new stars, this purge is all part of the greater cycle of creation.

So, fellow space cadets, let's navigate this Pluto-in-Capricorn retrograde with grace, humor, and a healthy dose of nerdiness! Remember, our universe is not only dark matter and cosmic chaos, it's also laughter, love, and endless possibilities!

The Sun

Sun Trine Jupiter

Today should be a fortunate day for you. Your confidence and optimism are high. Today is a good day to put plans into action and to participate in group activities. Expand your horizons and pick up something new to learn. It's a good time to grow, to be generous and caring, and to reach out and make others happy. Ask your boss for a raise as those in authority are likely to be receptive today.Endowed with generosity and friendliness, these people appear to be lucky in life. They attract good things with a positive frame of mind and a charitable disposition. Rarely entirely “down and out”, people with Sun in harmonious aspect to Jupiter are usually well-received, helpful, and well-informed. They may enjoy travel and have a special affection for foreign places and people. They’re generally not very competitive people, and for the most part not combative either. As a result, they are usually well-liked.These people are usually good-hearted with strong morals and much faith in life and in people. They prefer to find good in situations and in people. They don’t have a lot of patience with those who break the rules, as they generally believe in order, equality, and the law. They generally make good on their promises, and the sincerity they exude can be trusted. Looking on the bright side is their forte–turn to these people for a pleasing dose of faith and optimism. They are quick to chuckle and can’t resist any appeal to their sense of humor. Some people with this aspect are downright jolly. Others are less conspicuous, but their faith in life and willingness to find humor in life are nevertheless obvious.Some Famous People with Sun in Harmonious Aspect to Jupiter: Trines – Hank Aaron, Ben Affleck, Antonio Banderas, Ashley Judd, Evel Knievel, Shari Lewis, Carol Lewis, Camilla Parker Bowles, Peter Sellers, Alicia Witt, Justin Timberlake; Sextiles – Prince Andrew (of England), Madonna, Albert Camus, Samantha Fox, Courtney Love, Elvis Presley.Alternate interpretations:Sun trine Jupiter: You have big aspirations but do not struggle or labor to achieve them. Your self-confidence and inner harmony attract success and benefits to you in an almost magical way. Your optimism and cheerful generosity also win you many allies and successes in life. — Interpretation from our Merlin Profile report.Sun trine Jupiter: The qualities of luck, energy, magnanimity, and good spirits here are pronounced. If you also have Moon square or opposition Saturn, or Sun square or opposition Uranus, or Moon conjunct Mars, or Sun square or opposition Saturn: The creative urge is also brought out.You have lots of vitality and optimism, together with a broad, tolerant, philosophic viewpoint – a sort of hail-fellow-well-met person making friends readily and generally keeping them. This is an excellent position for business. If you also have Mars conjunct Jupiter, Jupiter conjunct Saturn, Jupiter conjunct Uranus, Jupiter conjunct Neptune, Moon square or opposition Saturn, Moon conjunct Mars, Sun square or opposition Saturn, or Jupiter sextile or trine Saturn: You find a successful career of considerable scope and influence.In a professional or artistic career this insures financial return. No poet with this aspect ever starved in a garret, or anywhere else, for that matter. You spend freely and convivially, and your abundant vitality makes it possible for you to keep going for a long time. — Interpretation from the Heaven Knows What report.Sun trine Jupiter: Jupiter, the planet of mercy, confers an optimistic approach whenever there are life challenges to be met. This aspect is fortunate because it promotes successful outcomes in general, as far as personal goals and recognition.You’re a generous and loyal friend. You are basically honest and you have a sincere desire to do right by your fellow man. It’s easy for you to be indulgent with others and you’re a naturally big-hearted person. Use this trait with open eyes. — Interpretation from the Your Life Path report.Sun trine Jupiter: Being successful in life is easy, for you have a built-in sense of how to approach and unravel even the most difficult problems. You have an instinct for justice and the law, and you always know how to approach a problem from just the right angle. This ability makes you a natural counselor or guide for others, in particular regarding vocational matters. Working with and helping older persons is also suggested. — Interpretation from Zet Software.

Venus

Venus Square Jupiter

You will probably overindulge yourself today, with regrets later. This is true both with eating and spending. A distinct laziness may overcome you and you will want to be pampered. Self-discipline is needed in order to avoid trouble now or later. Others may think you are too spoiled. Don't procrastinate.These people are big-hearted and warm, with open hearts and a tendency to want to give a lot to the people they love. They can have some problems with following through on their promises, however–not because of any ill intent, but because they sometimes overestimate their personal capabilities, and want to do more, and give more, than is actually possible. At distinct times in their lives, they have a tendency to live beyond their means. They need to be cautious about the tendency to feel overly-optimistic or overly protected. Borrowing from their future and overdoing their indulgence in pleasures is a marked tendency. While people with the conjunction, sextile, or trine between Venus and Jupiter express their bigheartedness, tolerance, generosity, and magnanimity in a generally constant and natural manner, these same expressions for those people with the square, opposition, and quincunx between these planets tend to be problematic at times. Their need for growth, good humor, and fun in their relationships is marked, as is their disdain for insincerity. However, they may attract just those kinds of people simply because they are looking so hard for these traits that they assign them onto undeserving people!Moderation is the most important, and perhaps challenging, lesson in these people’s lives.Interpretation sample from the Your Spiritual Path report — Your sense of form and harmony extend into the important relationships of your life. You seek a strong philosophical connection to match the physical passion. Faithfulness is a key factor if your relationship is to support your spiritual growth, and trust has to work both ways in the partnership.Some Famous People with the Venus in Hard Aspect to Jupiter: Squares – Jason Alexander, Pearl Buck, Julia Child, Joe Cocker, Sean Connery, Alice Cooper, Billy Corgan, e.e. Cummings, John Denver, Michael J. Fox, Andy Gibb, Linda Goodman, Jim Jones, Jessica Lange, David Lynch, Dolly Parton, Tom Paxton, Robert Redford, Lynn Redgrave, Oral Roberts, Maria Shriver, Britney Spears, Tina Turner, Jon Voight, Betty White; Oppositions – Drew Carey, Billy Ray Cyprus, Victor Hugo, Quincy Jones, Tom Selleck, Cat Stevens.